How natural is it for you to listen to your inner knowing? Meaning, saying “No” when you need to (or want to) and considering your needs and following through on honoring them? Is it hard? Do you feel awkward actually giving your desires and wants a voice?
There seems to be a misperception in believing that “doing you” results in being inconsiderate of others and selfish. This cannot be further from the truth. The reality is that if you don’t tend to your needs you will not be showing up at your best for yourself or anyone else in your life for that matter. Not being truthful to yourself breeds not being truthful to others.
Personally, listening to myself and “doing me” used to be much more of a struggle. One of the worst consequences of not honoring myself was getting totally confused and lost by the different opinions and voices around me. When you don’t have a solid grasp on your views and wants it’s easy to get caught up in the direction of the crowd. Always following what others wanted from me resulted in my inability to make legit choices and have a solid opinion for myself. I’ve come to find that having opinions that represent my truth helps me to feel strong, focused and, well, ME.
Making good choices, literally, is a developed and creative skill. It’s a behavior that is worth taking the time to learn and hone. Day by day and small choice by small choice, you can build this decision making muscle of yours. If you have not tended to this already: Why not start now?
I will be straight with you by saying that there are times when “doing me” instead of engaging in what others expect from me results in smirky comments and others disapproval. After all, by doing me, I’m not following what others want me to do. This can royally peeve some people off, which leads me to my next point......
“Not everyone is going to be a fan of you “doing you.”
Accepting that this is reality and apart of life can, perhaps, “cushion the blow” when disapproval comes knocking on your door. There is no denying that as a former “people pleaser” it’s hard to feel these glares and disappointments from others. Although, at the end of the day, I ground myself by remembering that I’m making my choices with the best of intentions for those around me who I love and care about as well as what feels right for me. If that’s what selfish is: sign me up!
*The above image was taken by Amy Lynn Bjornson, San Diego based photographer.