Holiday Tips for People Pleasers

Do you have an exaggerated awareness of the needs of others? Meaning do you find yourself overly concerned and aware about what everyone else needs, while ignoring your needs?

People with a hyper ability to please and make sure everything is okay for others are often neglecting their own needs.

It’s tricky because when someone is taking care of it all, from the outside these “hyper hospitable” individuals show up as super thoughtful, helpful and dependable (all good things). They even get feedback from the world that encourages their helpful ways. The catch is that they’re ignoring their needs in honor of showing up for everyone else. 

Is that really so great?

What happened to win/win?

It hurts my heart to see people bend over backward and ignore their needs while running around doing everything for other people. (Especially for people who don’t acknowledge and respect the efforts.) 

The irony is that we’re always teaching people how to treat us and when we’re ignoring our own needs, guess what, so will everyone else. This is the dangerous cycle of constantly doing, giving and being to everyone other than ourselves.

With that said, in this holiday season of busy and endless things to do, please take a moment to check in with yourself, pause for a hot minute, and make sure you’re tending to yourself. 

It’s one thing to support and send love to others, but don’t confuse this with bending over backwards and giving when it’s crossing the boundary to over giving and, ultimately, disrespecting yourself. 

Tips For The Holidays

  • For some people, a card is enough. Don’t stress about giving gifts because you think you “should.” I understand and respect that there’s some people that it’s a personal “must do” to gift too and that’s fine, although, draw the line somewhere. 

  • When you’re exhausted and tired please respect your body. You don’t need to push yourself to please others. Do what you need to do.

  • Practice allowing others to help you. If you identify as being sensitive and hyper aware of others needs, pause before you jump on the urge “to do” for everyone else. Practice waiting, even if just for a couple seconds, to give other people the space to take care of their own needs. You will be surprised to see what other people are capable of when you allow them to show up for themselves.

This is your holiday season; Enjoy it.

*Image by Photographer Shannon Bailey.