I just never know what my next blog is going to be about. What I can always guarantee is that it’s a topic that has tugged for my attention in some random way. This post was created because of a song that I’ve heard several times, yet a couple days ago something different happened when it came on: I really heard it. I really listened.
The song starts out with a bang as the beginning line states….
These lyrics got me thinking: How do you hold on to love? How do you let go when you give it?
The words that follow is what I came up with.
Hold On To Love By Treating It Right
Respect is huge. Showing up and consistently treating your relationships with respect is how you receive it yourself. Being respectful spiderwebs into so many other things. It creates a consistent healthy exchange between two people because when respect is a constant, so many other rich qualities follow. Respect allows space for all parties to grow and show up as they are; battle wounds and all. No guard up leads to more transparency, which creates a more solid connection that is authentic and REAL.
Feeling valued, worthy and capable are feelings that follow respect. Show respect by allowing others to find their own way. Let others have their own opinions without judgement or criticism. This doesn’t mean you have to agree, but it does call for a respectful response. There’s a way to be respectful in your relationships while keeping your authenticity, even when the choices of others contradict how you think or what you believe in.
Trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. When trust is compromised or broken, there’s not much to work with unless both parties are on board to do repair work.
Trust is a vital and central piece of any connection.
It’s one thing to say you're trustworthy. Although, what really matters is how you show up. This is always true. A trustworthy person does some key consistent actions that allow the person on the other end of them to feel safe.
Be a person of your word. Do what you say; say what you mean. Make sure that your actions match your words. Show up when you say you’re going too.
Be consistent. Consistency is so under rated. One of the most important things that you can do as a parent is show up consistently for your child. The same is true for any relationship. Continuously being present and doing the important and, so-called, unimportant things that keep a partnership strong is huge. If you think about it, take a moment to reflect on who you really trust. My guess is that it’s the people who keep showing up. Be consistent and look for consistency within your relationships. It’s such a solid quality. You deserve to give it and get it.
Let Go When You Give Love By Allowing It To Just Be
Watch Your Expectations
It’s so natural and human to have a pre conceived idea around how you want a relationship to BE. This desire tends to get more intense when we feel a strong connection and/or attraction to another. Most of us have liked or fallen for someone that has not returned the same feeling. It can be crushing, disappointing and frustrating. It’s hard to let go of a true desire or expectation around a certain someone or something that we really want. After all, that dream in our head about what can be is sooooo good, I know.
To say it simply; Expectations are tricky.
When it comes to love, allowing another person to show up where they are and how they are is your best bet. A couple things will become clear if you can refrain a bit and allow this space for pieces to unfold naturally. (I do believe there’s a time and place to go after what you want, be persistent and strongly pursue the guy/girl, but that’s a whole other topic, stay tuned. We all want to be wanted.)
You will see the truth of the matter when you take a step back. I’m not saying the attraction will stop or the want will quickly go away, but when you start getting present with what’s actually happening, meaning how another is showing up instead of focusing on how you believe a relationship should transpire, you will see the truth more clearly. The truth will be different for each individual situation. The truth might bring relief, frustration, anger or joy, but at least it’s real and a solid place to navigate from.
The truth allows us to let go of our expectations with more ease.
Detachment allows a situation or relationship to fall into a natural place. It pushes us out of the drivers seat requiring us to trust the bigger source of life. This means trusting the natural ebb and flow of life. Detachment doesn’t call for you to give up or pretend to not care. With detachment comes grace, which often allows things to work out even better than they could because your control is out of the equation. It does require surrender and trust. With practice the concept of detachment can allow your life to flow more fluidly than it ever could with your added force.
Love is what it’s all about. We all want it. We all need it. It’s the focal point of life.
Give Love. Get Love. Could it be that simple?
* The below image was taken in Solana Beach, California.