Trust is a fragile thing. Once broken can it fully be repaired?

There are some lines that some may cross, which are too much for us to bear. Someone compromising our trust is one thing; however, when we compromise the trust that we hold with ourselves, problems begin to appear in our lives.

How much you trust yourself dictates how much others will trust you. This impacts how everything pans out in your life.

Pause. Take that in. Allow it to resonate; Deeply.

It’s common for us to pay a lot of attention to our external relationships, which, no doubt are incredibly important. However, the relationship we hold with ourself is The Ultimate. The level of trust and respect that we have for ourself is dictating everything.

Our language and the words we speak highlight the relationship that we have with ourself. Being intentional about the words we say, both internally and externally, can shift our lives. When we’re consistently clear, intentional and respectful with our words, we build a level of self trust that creates a strength of character that’s invaluable.

The truth is, every time that you say you’re going to do something and you don’t follow through with your word, you chip away at the relationship that you hold with yourself. Meaning, you become, little by little, out of alignment with your truth.

Just as if someone outside of you wasn’t clear or “of their word,” when you’re inconsistent and don’t do what you say, you compromise a trusting, healthy relationship with You. Over time, if you keep incongruent words and actions up, you’ll stop believing your words and ability to act, which is a huge problem.

It’s bigger than big problem. It’s something to greatly pay attention to: Your accountability with and to your own Self.

Once self trust is broken or compromised, there’s a myriad of negative effects that will result: Low self concept, low confidence, self doubt, feelings of inferiority, scarcity about life and what you can accomplish; the list goes on and it’s not pretty. 

Unclear, vague language keeps us stuck. False negative stories that we hold about ourself keeps us stuck. Both of these things keeps us “in the struggle.” (no thank you) It keeps us complaining. It keeps us small. It keeps us from living to our full potential. It keeps our confidence at bay. It keeps us doubting our capabilities.

There’s no need for this when intentional words and healthy thoughts, beliefs and stories can take the place.

We choose our language. We choose our beliefs, whether it feels like we do or not. At the end of the day; It’s our choice. This can be hard to see and accept, but the acknowledgement and acceptance of that fact can change your life.

It’s not necessary to suffer the consequences of unclear language when you can hone the art of being direct and clear. Your relationship with Self will begin to be cleared up by becoming more intentional about two main items:

1. The thoughts, beliefs and words you say internally (the quality of your self talk, what personal limits and beliefs you hold) 

2. What you say externally to yourself and others via your conversations and comments.

Below is an example of how you can begin to clarify and correct your language.

Practice to Increase Self Trust: Use Clarifying Language

from: I can’t

to: I don’t or I choose not to

“I can’t drink tonight because I’m on a 30 day cleanse.” to “I’m choosing not to drink this month.” or “I don’t drink anymore.”

from: probably or maybe

to: I will

“I probably will make it to the party.” to “I will make it to the party.”

from: I have to

to: I choose too/ I get to

“I have to go to my friends event.” to “I get to go to my friends event.”

from: I don’t know

to : I’ll figure it out

“I don’t know what to do about my business.” to “I’ll figure out with time what to do about my business.”

As you begin to speak differently, both internally and externally, you will organically begin to shift your relationship with your (Self.) Think of a friend that starts talking to you with more kindness, love, patience and care. It would impact and shift your friendship for the better.

It’s truth. It’s not complicated. Don’t complicate it. Free yourself and suffer much less by clarifying your language.

The big, overarching shift is your acknowledgment and ownership of your words, actions and how you’re showing up, first and foremost, to your own self and then to others and the world. 

• Today’s Practice: Be mindful of your self talk as well as how you talk externally with others. Watch your inner dialogue. Witness it. Be the observer and see what you discover about the health of your language. If you notice it can be corrected with more kind and loving tones, be intentional about shifting it. Over time you can shift your relationship with yourself by changing your words, tone and becoming more intentional and clear. 

Much love friends. As always, thanks for reading.

*Images by photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson for @worn_culture.