It’s official: Who you spend your time around is a big deal.
If there’s one aspect of your life to evaluate, take a gander at the people whom you choose to surround yourself with. Also known as, your pivotal people, your inner circle and, basically, anyone that you hand pick and invite into your life. Your friends are mini representations of you, so be selective. This post is specifically referring to the people who you willingly choose and pick to have in your space. (*Not individuals who you're connected to because of family, work or an airplane seat assignment, get my drift?)
Here's the deal: You get to pick your close relationships. Sit with that for a second.
The truth be told, we do become more similar to the company that we choose. Make sure that you would gladly take on the characteristics of the individuals whom you consistently surround yourself with. Are they judgmental, narrow minded, critical, self loathing or negative? Or rather, upbeat, positive, approachable, friendly, loving and supportive? On a basic level we’re soaking in, with our minds, bodies and souls, the habits, opinions and energies of others whether we like it or not. We are influenced by and pick up the habits of the company that we choose. It’s just what happens. Even more so a reason to pick people who show up in a way you respect.
Who you choose says something about you. Your close relationships are a reflection of you.
Picking people who add to your life will elevate your experience. When your “picker’ is on point and your intention is to grow and expand, “Your People” can introduce you to new things, inspire you, teach you and motivate you. When your “picker” is off, and you're ignoring key signals, you can feel drained, bored, uninspired and just blah about your interactions.
Another aspect that can be holding you back in the relationship arena is spending your energy trying to change another. Just for the record, lets revisit the fact that spending energy trying to change the inner workings of another person will leave you totally unsatisfied. Why? ………because you can’t change anyone other than yourself. We have all heard this and logically know this, but for whatever reason, we sometimes can find ourselves trying too. Don’t blame yourself on this one, we’re human and it’s a rut that we can all get caught in at one time or another. Although, the sooner you realize that it's a waste of your energy and a dead end, please abort mission and turn to those who you don’t want to change.
“You can’t change people, but you can change people.” -unknown
I appreciated this quote. We DO have control of who we choose to spend our consistent social time with.
The best thing we can do is allow another person to be themselves, while deciding how much or how little we want to be on the other end of them. Let people BE who they are.
When you stop thinking you can change someone and let the reality of who they are show, you will see the situation for what it is rather than what you want it to be.
(This holds true with so many things.) When you see a situation clearly, you're more likely to make decisions that align with your highest self. Decisions that are based on concepts like self respect and honor.
As you evaluate your relationships you might find that you need or want to change some things. This might mean that some relationships need more boundaries, less investment or a parting of ways. Every connection is so unique. It's up to you to find clarity and decide what you need to do about each relationship. The bottom line is: You don’t need to go toward someone that doesn't fill you up and add to your experience, much less drain you. You just don’t have to sign up for that willingly, so, why would you?
Two words: Please Don’t.
I want the best for you. Go for expanding and growing into your best self. A huge way we grow and learn is from our relationships. Choose wisely friends.
* The above image was taken in Costa Rica.