3 Quick Tips For A More Positive Mindset

We can all get into a negative head space.  After all, we’re human and life provides contrast, which we’re challenged to navigate every now and then. This will always be. With that said, here are some clear steps to remember to get your head back in the game when it's in a funky place.

Focus On What’s Good

In order to be a consistently happy person, it’s a must to create a habit of focusing on what there is to appreciate in your life. What you tend to focus on is a habit in itself. Habits can change with some attention and discipline. If you notice that you tend to focus on “the problem” or what’s lacking in your life, you can learn to shift your mindset. Just like any habit, it’s a matter of learning a new, more serving one in order to function better. A better habit results in thinking and feeling better overtime. 

If you feel that you struggle with worry, anxiety and a sense of general overwhelm, I invite you to pay attention to the small things in life. The small things can be easy to ignore, but they’re a great place to start in order to practice your ability to focus and build momentum. The hummingbird at your window, a genuine smile from a stranger or a random message from a past dear friend are little things that you can acknowledge more. Paying attention to the little things in life tend to lead to big shifts and changes within. Life all comes down to a constant exchange of energy between everything, so keeping your focus on feelings and thoughts that serve you will bring good things toward you. This will always be true.

Take Things Step by Step

Focus on one thing at a time. Focusing on the next step, and just the next step, calls you to be more present. When you tap into what choice feels good and honors who you are in the moment, in a sense, you can’t fail. Whatever results from making a choice from that true place within is right. 

It’s often that the small choices we make everyday are the ones that impact our happiness the most. We tend to be wired to focus on the big and more monumental things that cause change. Change does and can happen this way, although never forget the power of the underdog, which, in this case are the small decisions that overtime lead to a different way of thinking and feeling. 

A great simple and clear question to ask your internal self when you’re looking to feel more rooted is:

What’s the next right move?

Be Where You Are

I’m here to tell you………Where you are is where you're supposed to be. Period. 

I know that can be super discomforting, especially when you have a lot going on that's difficult in the now, so bare with me.

When you’re constantly thinking that you should BE somewhere other than where you are, you will be chronically dissatisfied. This way of thinking creates so much suffering. Feeling that where your life is presently is “wrong” is a perspective (and negative label) that will slowly chip away at your life force. In order to hold and feed that negative belief you will naturally become untrusting of life. If you believe that where your at is “wrong” and that’s where life has lead you, this presents a complete disconnect and distrustful relationship with life itself. Obviously, this not a good place to be. Think about not trusting another person. You will naturally be less open, more protective of yourself and less available when you feel something or someone is threatening you. Approaching life on the defense will leave you unfulfilled. 

In order to really sink into your present life experience you have to form a more healthy relationship with life. Life is not going anywhere and as long as you choose to think it’s out to get you, you will suffer. You will find more peace with where you are when you trust that the process of life is supporting you. Whether you can visibly see the results of that or not. This is where we get stuck. We see other people experiencing what we want and it’s easy to get caught up in the “why” of “Why is it not happening for me?” 

My voice is hear to remind you that it’s just not happening for you……YET. 

Believe that what you want is own it's way. Feel the good feelings you imagine that desired experience will bring and practice living more in that mind space.

Hang in there. If you can start to trust life a little more, it will give you more evidence of why you should trust it. In a sense, it’s like dating. The more you see qualities that you enjoy and make you feel good in another, the more you will have the desire to exchange and journey with them forward. So, date life….this is one partner that will not fail you.

* Above image by San Diego Photographer Amy Lynn Bjornson.

Words to Allow Your Life to Unfold (With Less Stress)

So often, we get hung up on “how” things, experiences and circumstances are going to unfold in our lives. Getting caught in the “how” something is going to evolve is what can lead us to shut down and avoid going further with an idea. After all, it’s overwhelming to know that you want something and, at the same time, have no clue how to attain it. 

When the way is not paved, it can be really intimidating. Generally speaking, us humans like to know what lies ahead. When we don’t, we can become very nervous, scared and anxious about “what’s next.” When we spend more time stressing about not knowing, paired with creating negative predictions about what we think will be, we are definitely going in an anxiety provoking direction. Anxiety and fear about our life blocks us from taking positive action toward creating our dreams.

This is suffering more than need be.

The truth is that you’re not supposed to know the exact step by step process of how your wants, desires and dreams are going to evolve and come into your life. It’s common to have no clue where to start when a dream is just a mere thought. When you can trust the fact that you're not supposed to know and believe that your work is to stay open and follow your natural instincts and curiosities, the pressure to figure it all out will subside.

The reality is that, dreams are not linear.

What does this mean?

This means that how a dream and life unfolds is a very magical process. It’s art. It’s not to be controlled or sequential. It’s not to be scripted. A dream usually evolves in a way better than you could imagine. When you can wrap your head around this, believe it and allow it to lead, you will feel less fear and discomfort around not knowing how things are going to pan out.

Some things do require a specific step by step process, although, dreams do not. 

Committing to the perspective that the unknown of the “how” is a good and interesting part of life is key toward reducing your fear about the future. Realize that when you take away the components of excitement and adventure that come with the unknown, you take away a piece of life that keeps us curious, growing and interested.

So, how are we supposed to tolerate not knowing the how? 

With acceptance and understanding that we’re not supposed to know how our dreams, desires and goals are going to unfold, we can experience more peace. Our work is to tolerate the nervous discomfort of the unknown, (until we become more comfortable with it) allow ourself to be led by our curiosity and do our best to believe that things will work out.

When you learn to switch your perspective and begin to believe that the unknown road ahead can be seen as exciting and filled with possibilities, instead of scary and dangerous, life has the potential to get really interesting.

So often in life things don’t unfold in the way you believe that they will or should. This is why life is an adventure. Instead of using this knowledge to freak you out, use it to empower you toward trusting in something bigger. Trust in life. Start believing that life has your back. 

It truly does…..

 *Image by Amy Lynn Bjornson, San Diego based Photographer.