Our words, the ones murmured through our inner dialogue as well as the ones expressed out loud are creating our lives. They paint the picture of who we are.
To say it simply, our words matter, big time.
They affect how people see us, how we view ourself and, most importantly, how our lives pan out. Our words create our reality, as our words are birthed from our deep seeded beliefs. What we believe about ourself will show up via our actions, words and decisions, for better or for worse.
As a visual person, I love to think about this human system of functioning as a layered cake. That bottom layer, being the foundation (our beliefs) sets the stage for how aligned and balanced that finished cake is going to be (our lives). It all ends and begins with our beliefs. They dictate how our thoughts, actions and results come to physical form.
Just for the record, we communicate our beliefs through our words whether we’re aware of it or not.
What we say represents who we are and what we stand for. Our words represent our personal brand, whether we’re trying to have one or not.
We are constantly marketing who we are by what we say and how we say it. How positive or skeptical we are is expressed via our voice. Are we victims of our circumstances? Are we hopeful of what’s to come? Fearful of the future? And the list goes on. We determine what the past means and what the future holds for us as we express ourselves through our words.
So, given all the above, here's a couple questions:
Are Your Words in Alignment With What You Want?
It’s common for us to operate with our defenses up. Especially after we’ve been hurt and burned in life. Sometimes a natural response to being hurt is to create protective ways of thinking and acting to ensure that we don’t get hurt again. For example, if you decide that you’re never going to open your heart to the possibility of another romantic relationship because you’ve been rejected and hurt, then that part of your life will die. If you decide that you’re never going to try for another new job opportunity because you crashed and burned in your last job, then you’ll remain complacent in your career life.
Shutting off is a solution, although it’s not a good nor healthy long term solution to life’s emotional hits.
The reality is that life is full of contrast and up’s and down’s. We will win some and we will lose some. The key is to keep moving, keep trying and to keep open even though we have been let down and disappointed. No doubt that this is hard, right?
The trouble comes when our defenses are high enough that we can falsely convince ourself of “truths” that simply aren’t facts. When these false truths start directing our life choices, this is where we start facing a lot of challenges and blocks. For example, the woman who claims she’s content to be alone, although in her heart of hearts, she desires partnership. On a conscious level she can believe her own lie, it manipulatively keeps her “safe,” but on an unconscious level this denial of her real truth will start creating dissatisfaction in her life.
Often, the reason that we lie to ourselves is because we’re not ready for the truth. After all, the truth can hurt.
Therefore we create ways of thinking that protect us from the pain that we would have to confront if we looked the truth straight in the eye. The truth meaning the factual reality of the situation at hand. The trick is to get to the point where we can allow the facts and the truth of the matter to be there with us as uncomfortable as that could be. (We don’t have to like it, but we do have to let the truth pass through.) When we hold the space for the truth to BE with us, we, consequently, give ourselves the opportunity to accept what is so we can let go and move on.
How Are Your Words Making You Feel?
After you have a conversation with others or internally, how do you feel? Do you feel empowered, positive or hopeful? Or do you feel discouraged, guilty or bad?
Here’s an exercise for you to get in tune with your mind/body:
The next time you have a situation that triggers your emotions, drop into your body, your heart space, and notice how you feel. Become aware of how certain emotions lay in your physical body. Start to acquaint yourself with where specific emotions are stored. For example, I’ll often feel anxiety in my chest and excitement in my belly. Stress gives me headaches and makes my head spin in circles.
With talking about how powerful our words are, I feel it’s important to note that there is a mighty power in saying things out loud.
Often times we’re fearful to speak the truth of something difficult out loud because it gives it a voice, which can make it feel more real.
As much as we’re scared to speak the truth out loud, there’s power in releasing our fears by expressing them. As we express our fears and difficult emotions we also create the space to begin facing them, and, therefore, releasing them.
No matter where you fall in relationship to the words that you speak, the good news is, drumroll, that you can change any habits in your life by deciding to be more aware and conscious. The tone, perspective and words you speak are just a habit. It’s a habit that can change and it’s a habit that can improve with time and effort.
I hope my words, the words in this post, help guide you closer to expressing your truth and, ultimately, attract what you seek.
*Above image by Lifestyle photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.