Liminal Space Explained: Why You Feel Lost (and How to Move Through It)
“Feeling lost” is often what happens when you’re in a liminal space — that in-between zone where you’re no longer who or where you were, but not yet who or where you’re becoming. It’s an empty stretch full of uncertainty and the unknown, which makes it deeply uncomfortable — and, not to mention, easy to want to avoid.
Walking through liminal space can feel like moving through a pitch-dark room. You can’t see what’s ahead, and you’re not quite sure where you are — often leaving you hesitant, and searching for something solid to land on.
Let’s talk about liminal space
In psychology, we call liminal space a threshold state: a pause, a transition, a space that can feel uncertain, uncomfortable and even disorienting.
It tends to show up during big shifts — ending a relationship, changing careers, outgrowing an identity, healing from a former version of yourself. It’s the space between the old story and the new one — it rarely comes with a roadmap and often comes with a feeling of lost.
Liminal space is deeply uncomfortable for many — so much so that people often make choices or take action not because it feels aligned, but simply to escape the discomfort. Anything to get out of the vast unknown and move on, even if it’s not quite right.
Why it matters for mental wellness:
Liminal spaces challenge our sense of control, certainty, and self
They can trigger anxiety or grief — but they also invite the good stuff; self-reflection, redefinition, and transformation
what it can feel like
Liminal space can feel like floating, with nothing solid beneath you to land on. Everything familiar has fallen away, and the new hasn’t arrived yet. This is often when panic sets in. If the present doesn’t look or feel like what you imagined it should — then what direction are you even supposed to go in?
The questions start to spin and overwhelm us: Where do I go? What do I do? What action should I take?
And yet... no clear answers come.
Within this space you might feel restless, anxious, ungrounded — lost.
This is a point where many of us stop choosing intentionally and, instead, choose from a place of scarcity and fear.
But here’s the truth: this space isn’t empty. It’s full of potential. It’s where deep growth takes root — if you allow it.
“what is familiar is not always right.” -Brianna Wiest
The real truth is that feeling lost every now and then is normal. It’s actually a key part of becoming.
Can liminal space last for years?
Yes, it’s possible—and deeply human—to have a long liminal phase. Sometimes these "in-between" spaces aren’t just bridges from one chapter to another. They are the chapter. A long one has the potential to provide many valuable lessons to be learned and experienced if you can see it that way. Lessons can be learned when you use the in-between space to pause, reflect and heal, (if need be) so you can move forward.
Is it “normal” to feel like I’ve been in “in between” for years?
Is it normal? Well, it’s not common. But yes, “normal” for those of us who are seekers.
“Seekers,” as in people who tend to have a heightened sense of:
Emotional intelligence
Creative sensitivity
Spirituality
Authenticity; meaning people who are unwilling to fake their way into “belonging”
It tends to be more common for people with these traits to spend time in liminal spaces-which doesn’t necessarily mean stagnation or that something is “wrong.”
It can be a sign of an inner truth — that you’re not willing to conform just to move forward.
In all reality, it takes real courage to walk the road less traveled, to listen to the inner callings of what feels right instead of checking off life’s boxes at the so-called “right time.”
Those who can tolerate the unknown — who are willing to sit in uncertainty and trust what they can’t yet see — will likely find themselves in liminal spaces more often than most.
how to move through it
The key is to stop forcing clarity and start practicing trust. Let go of the need to fix or fast-forward.
Instead: Feel. Listen. Wait. (your new mantra)
This space asks you to slow down, to stay present, and to let the lessons rise on their own timing. See my post on slow living here if you need some direction on how to embrace slow and more intentional in order to gain clarity.
Practicing an empowering narrative such as: I’m not broken and I might feel lost, but maybe I’m not as lost as I think. Maybe I’m just becoming. Maybe this is just the stuck before the new chapter.
It reminds me of the quote:
“You necessarily have to be lost before you’re found.” - T. Scott McLeod
This suggests the idea that the feeling of being lost is often the necessary precursor to self-discovery, transformation and to the world “on the other side.”
If you’re in that in-between right now, offer yourself grace. You don’t need all the answers today-who really ever has all the answers anyway?-nobody. For now, just stay close to yourself as you move through it — one breath and one moment at a time.
for those feeling lost
maybe you’re not just waiting—you’re pausing.
maybe you’re not just alone—you’re aware.
maybe you’re not aimless—you’re between identities.
Let’s review:
At the end of the day, remember, feeling lost is often a sign that you’re in between spaces — experiencing liminality, a psychological threshold where old structures no longer fit, and the new ones haven’t yet taken form.
Knowing why you’re feeling so aimless, so stuck, so lost can, ultimately, help you move through it with more ease + flow. Carry on my friends. One step at a time
An Invitation For You
If this resonates with you:
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*Above image by visual artist, Amy Lynn Bjornson
How Mistakes Encourage Your Growth
For all of you out there afraid to make a move in your life because of the fear of making a “mistake,” this ones for you.
I invite you to try on the perspective for a moment that the biggest mistake of all is consistently protecting yourself from making any. Making no move and no mistakes in life will get you nowhere and keep you in stagnant waters, my friend.
“Making a mistake” in life seems to have a really negative undertone, when often, it’s within our mistakes where we gain clarity, grow and are exposed to valuable information. If you can look beyond any self proclaimed “mistake” my guess is that there’s a gift of insight for you to take in. Often, that very insight will provide momentum that can direct you to your next destination in this journey called life.
Feeling stuck, stagnant and lost in life is an extremely uncomfortable and agonizing feeling. Don’t doubt that even the friend, acquaintance or individual who appears to have it all together and envisions perfection on instagram has felt or will feel that feeling too. Just a reminder that we all have our struggles, we all have our hardships. None of us are alone in that.
For the purpose of this article, I’m writing to my “road less traveled” life adventurers. Often those are the ones of us that can get really lost on the dark road, for they tend to be the group that goes thicker into the forest. It takes one to know one and in this post I will join my clinical skills as a licensed therapist combined with what I’ve learned personally from feeling utterly lost at points of my life to potentially help guide you.
With that said, I want to pose a friendly reminder that life is a journey and if you’re truly living it listening to yourself rather than following the constructs of what you should and ought to do, you will feel stuck at times or even extremely lost along the way.
I believe that “lost” feeling goes with the territory of carving your own path. It’s a brave thing to do. It takes courage and a heightened ability to cope with uncertainty when you’re choosing the road less traveled. This is sometimes why some of us choose the path that’s visible and has clear markers. It appears to feel more safe, and us humans, whether we like to admit it or not, tend to go toward the comfort of the “known” as it’s more inviting and appealing to many of us.
The road less traveled is not laid out for you. This path will require you to walk with fear and keep your anxiety about the uncertain steps ahead at bay while continuing to trudge onward. Remind yourself that choosing to go “the road less traveled,” although unknown, will expose you to the excitement of untapped terrain that’s filled with goodies. If you keep going, you will eventually see some sort of “light” that will direct you. Your work is to be able to hold on tight enough when you’re lost in the dark in order to make it to the light which will provide a direction for you to follow.
If you find yourself questioning your life more than others around you, please try to refrain from comparison. My guess might be that you’re comparing yourself to “others” who made the decision to go down a more well lit road. Neither path is wrong or right. The key is to decide which kind of traveler you are in this life and stay true to what’s in your heart.
Let’s start with a question: What does making a mistake mean to you?
Universally, a mistake often means that we find ourselves unhappy with the result that has come from a choice we’ve made about a person, place or thing. When we hold a lot of fear around making choices, our tendency to hit “bigger” bumps along the way increases for life requires us to choose everyday all day long.
We have to make choices, whether we want to make them or not. Our choices will and do create the tone and context of our overall life. What we choose to put in our mouths every meal, over time, results in what our health and physical body looks like. How we move our bodies everyday, overtime results in our physical appearance and dictates how we feel in and about our bodies. When we choose to go to sleep and wake up dictates the energy and mood that we bring to the day.
With that said, let’s get to it and discuss tips for you to consider if you’re feeling stuck or lost and are seeking a way toward the light.
Here Are 4 Tips to Becoming Unstuck
1. Make one small, new & healthy decision and keep following the momentum of that single choice consistently.
Watch for: Over thinking, negative thinking, talking yourself out of following through with your decision, devaluing your idea, arguing “why” the idea is not a good choice.
The point of making small decisions and following through with them is to retrain your brain and re wire your habit of being frozen and stagnant. I want to pose that if you’re finding yourself stuck, it’s often because you’ve created a habit of not following through on ideas or executing choices. I want you to wake up and work out your choice muscle on small, benign decisions. Start making firm choices with clarity and confidence with the little things, even if you’re not confident about it, just go with it and follow through with a choice.
The point here is to re-fire a muscle that has been dormant. I’m less concerned about your choice here, and more encouraging you to just make a choice for the exercise of making one. We’re working on eliminating your habit of stagnation by no decision making.
Remember, no choice is a choice, so in all reality you’re making the decision to do nothing when you’re stagnant and stuck in life. I know that can sound harsh, but I say that with 100% love for you to be honest with what really is going on, so you can decide to change that behavior at this point if you don’t like it. It’s so cliche to say, but knowledge is power friends.
2. Get out of your head that one choice will make or break you.
Watch for: Again, hello, over thinking, lack of follow through, not being accountable to your intention, playing into excuses.
I’m going to keep this short and sweet. One choice usually is not the end all be all. A series of small choices leads to big change. Take the pressure off of yourself by making small choices and paying attention to how you feel choice by choice. Your emotions and feelings about what is unfolding with each choice can help guide you.
Rule of thumb: If a choice starts to feel consistently bad, revaluate your direction and, perhaps, choose another way.
3. Act intentionally every day by doing your self care and giving yourself enough space to be without distraction.
Watch for: Busyness, lack of being present, getting caught up with “The Jones’s”
Truthfully, this is always a solid life mantra to live by. Be Intentional. We hear it all the time, however living intentionally does take practice, mindfulness and being clear on your priorities.
Every day remind yourself to focus on small actions that you can take to keep momentum going in an area of your life that you’re working to cultivate. Reading a book? Keep reading. Learning guitar? Keep learning. Cultivating a specific relationship? Keep cultivating. Looking for new houses to rent or buy? Keep looking. Dating? Keep talking, texting and meeting up with potential suitors. Just keep doing you.
Here’s what I WANT you to know that your over thinking cannot think up: One thing WILL lead to the next if you keep doing your part of the bargain which is moving and shaking to some degree. “Moving and shaking” meaning taking small actions that overtime can and will lead to bigger change. Take the pressure off of yourself that you have to make one big monumental choice and just start doing small things differently.
If you’ve been thinking of making a certain dish for dinner; cook it. If you’ve thought about journaling, start. I cannot make it clear enough that starting on these little minuit decisions are the building blocks toward creating your “do it” muscle. Little by little the small things gain momentum (if you hold your line and keep your practice consistent.)
Like I’ve said, it’s only a matter of time that small changes will lead to bigger changes. It’s just what the concepts of flow and momentum do. They create change. Clear out the stress and stagnation of trying to figure out how life is going to happen for you. The best that you can do is to live each day presently, while taking action toward the small “hits” that you’re intuitively getting and act on them to some degree.
4. Realize That No Decision is a Decision
Watch for: Thinking that you’re keeping yourself from “making a mistake.” Validation for no action.
Believing that you’re keeping yourself “safe” by not taking action toward curiosities and ideas that excite you is a trap. Refraining from exploring what lights you up is one of the most dangerous habits that I see humans get caught in.
If you never make a move, your life will still happen, it just will be less intentional. That means that the chances of really hitting the mark on what you truly desire will be more questionable. Life never goes exactly as planned, however having some sort of idea about who you are and how you enjoy spending your time and energy are important to consider when making decisions around your life.
Many things in life are out of our control, yet we can make intentional choices about what we want to do with our time and our energy. We can choose what lifestyle we long for and start moving in the direction toward it. What happens along the way in the form of the unexpected is the mystery that life provides for us. Try to enjoy the surprises instead of fear them.
If you “don’t know” what you want, that’s okay, but do your best to honor who you are and what you enjoy doing with your time and energy and that will lead you in a solid direction.
Well, that’s a wrap. I hope these words help reduce the anxiety & fear that often comes along with navigating a room in the dark. Like I said earlier, the problem isn’t the fact that you’re in a moment in your life where things are unclear. The problem, more often, is in the mindset and lack of action that we bring to any situation. As we’ve all heard, it’s what we do with the situation in front of us that can make or break us, not so much the particular situation at hand.
Take care of yourself. Rest. Eat well. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Move your body. These small actions, all together, will provide a good foundation as you practice making the small choices that will steer your life in a direction that suits you.
Cheers.
Below is a youtube video that I made around this specific topic. Enjoy and feel free to SUBSCRIBE to my channel.