Honing A Growth Mindset (A Major Mental Health Hack)
The further I proceed along my personal growth journey; the more I realize how mindset is everything.
Lately, I keep circling back to the most simple of concepts in the world of psychology. There are new fancy names for old school psychological theories and practices providing material for in trend and eye catching branding, yet when it comes down to it; I like to lead with the powerful, simple truths.
I’m not fancy. I can promise you that I will always do my best to lead with truth and I ask you to call me out if I ever show up any other way but raw & real.
Lets get into exploring the power of a growth mindset so you can make any nips & tucks to your mindset in order to thrive and carry on in the way you truly desire.
What is a growth mindset?
A growth mindset is a concept popularized by Stanford professor and psychologist Carol Dweck. It’s the belief that our abilities, intelligence and what’s possible can be developed through dedication, effort, hard work and learning.
It’s a mindset that focuses on an internal locus of control. This means that we believe that we have a lot of control in terms of the changes and results that we can get from our life via the actions that we take, the persistence that we embody & the beliefs and mindset that we choose. A growth mindset is grounded by a belief that life could be better (and will be) as you take the actions to change your experience.
In simple terms; A growth mindset believes that your abilities can be developed through effort and learning.
So, what’s the opposite of a growth mindset?
What is a fixed mindset?
A fixed mindset is the opposite of a growth mindset. This way of thinking is limited and fixed based on what you believe to be your natural abilities. With a fixed mindset you tend to shy away from making effort and doing the hard work because you believes that if you don’t naturally embody it; you shy away from the challenge or hard work to attain it.
In a nutshell; it’s the thought that : “If I don’t have the natural ability; why try?” This thought is so because you see your abilities to be fixed.
With a fixed mindset; you’re limited in believing that your growth is based on your innate capabilities, which you believe to be unchangeable. Those with a fixed mindset tend to avoid challenges and see failure as a reflection of their inherent limitations.
You can see how this can lead to a big old train wreck of many missed chances and opportunities because of the cap that you’re putting on your own capabilities.
Let’s say it straight: A fixed mindset is the belief that abilities, intelligence, and talents are static traits that cannot be developed. This mindset likes to give a lot of credit to your talent; believing that talent alone determines success. With beliievng this to be true, you naturally put in less effort to improve or create change in your life.
How a Fixed Mindset Will Limit You:
1. Limited Growth and Development
People with a fixed mindset avoid challenges because they fear failure. This leads to complacency and stagnation.
2. Increased Fear of Failure
A fixed mindset makes failure very personal. Individuals see failure as a reflection of their abilities rather than an opportunity to grow & expand their skills.
This fear of failure leads to decreased risk-taking and innovation.
3. Avoidance of Challenges
With a fixed mindset individuals tend to stick to what they know rather than trying new things.
This results in missed opportunities for personal and professional growth.
4. Negative Self-Perception
Never trying anything new doesn’t allow you the space to prove to yourself that : YOU. CAN. DO. HARD. THINGS. This leads to the dangerous belief that you are incapable, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self worth.
When you don’t feel of high value you tend to take criticism more personally instead of constructively.
5. Difficulty in Relationships and Collaboration
How we feel about ourselves has everything to do with how we show up and respond within our relationships. Our ability to communicate effectively will be compromised with a negative self-perception.
6. Reduced Resilience
Challenging yourself will be limited with the mindset that if your not naturally gifted; you might as well not try. This leave you less resilient and not really up for a challenge.
Now; let’s get into the good stuff. It seems pretty obvious to me that the way to aim is toward cultivating a growth mindset.
Here are 7 science-backed benefits and key traits of having a growth mindset:
1. You’re More Resilient, Persistent & Motivated
Research shows that taking on a growth mindset increases resilience, perseverance and motivation by encouraging individuals to focus on overall improvement vs. specific performance goals. When the focus is on effort and development (on becoming better) we have a greater inner desire to learn and grow.
2. You’re Better At Problem-Solving
Our ability to think in creative and expansive ways increases with a growth mindset. A growth mindset allows us to think and challenge the limited constructs and standard conventional thinking of our world.
This is where innovation, new ideas and fresh perspectives live.
3. You Have Less Fear of Failure
With a growth mindset, failure is viewed as a learning experience rather than a lack of one’s abilities, allowing for more risk taking. Failure is aligned with an ability to take chances and expand one’s comfort zone rather that a knock on your personal abilities and sense of self.
This allows for less fear and anxiety around taking chances which leads to more self expansion & growth, which tends to expose and unleash your unlimited potential.
4. You Have Better Relationships
A study in Psychological Science by Yeager et al. (2013) found that individuals with a growth mindset were more likely to maintain positive relationships. These individuals where found to address conflicts constructively, as they believed that they could work through differences and improve their interpersonal skills.
When it comes to relationships, when we have a growth mindset we believe that relationships can evolve positively over time with effective communication and effort.
5. You’re More Self-Efficient & Confident
A growth mindset is all about learning and growing. Proving to ourselves that we can do hard things and learn new skills provides us with the self confidence to face new, unknown challenges. It allows us to go toward fear because we are continuously working the muscle of tolerating challenge and discomfort. When we practice proving to ourselves that we can get through and handle uncomfortable situations we increase our self confidence.
To say it straight: people with a growth mindset are more likely to set challenging goals, work hard to achieve them, try new things and bounce back from setbacks.
6. Your Mental Health is Better
Adopting a growth mindset allows us to combat feelings of learned helplessness, which is when an individual continuously faces a negative, uncontrollable situation and stops trying to change their circumstances, even when they have the ability to do so.
When challenges arise; a person with a growth mindset asks:
“What is this challenge here to teach me?”
vs
“Why is this challenge happening to me?”
Taking on a growth mindset helps us generally believe that hardships come and are sprinkled with life lessons. This leads us to view our struggles as opportunities for personal development vs. disasters trying to take us down.
remember; whatever you believe to be true; is true.
7. You Embrace Change
Embracing change and new situations is a skill set that you spend a lot of time conditioning with a growth mindset. You practice gently pushing yourself to experience positive change & new things because you know that those skills will help you to grow & expand. You realize that more opportunities for growth, a life fulfilled and self expansion live outside your comfort zone.
Do You Have A Growth or Fixed Mindset?
(questions to help you evaluate your mindset)
do you try to look more talented or smarter than others?
do you avoid challenges that could show any lack of natural talent?
do you tend to attribute success to natural ability rather than your hard work, persistence or effort?
do you think that needing to work harder than others means your less talented in comparison to them?
*If you answered yes to any of these questions; you may want to do some work on honing more of a growth mindset.
Final thoughts & story telling time
Success often comes from struggle, facing and overcoming hardship and challenges. Here’s a story of grit & persistence to really lock my point in.
A Story of Persistence and Success
Ed Sheeran is a singer/song writer who began his music journey as a teenager, performing at small gigs. In 2008, with just a backpack and guitar he moved to London,; playing in small venues and often sleeping on friends’ couches or on the streets when he had nowhere to stay.
After efforts to break into the music industry followed by rejections from record labels, he continued his persistence toward his dream by building his fan base through YouTube and social media. His breakthrough moment came in 2010 when he flew to Los Angeles without any sort of plan or connections and played at open mic nights. It was then that he caught the eye of actor and musician Jamie Foxx, who offered him his recording studio.
From there, in 2011, his career launched as he created and released an independent Collaborations Project, which gained online popularity and led to a record deal with Atlantic Records.
As you may or may not know; Ed Sheeran is a thing; he is a world renowned musician.
So there you have it; those of us who are able to believe in ourselves, face the challenges, the rejection, the struggle thrive. Persistence does pay off my friends. Some of us just quit too soon to see our dreams or wants pay off. If we keep going strong, something has to eventually catch us, right?
Why not believe this to be true?
I’ll never forget a moment in my life when I was at a cross roads and happened to sit by “the right” person on a plane ride to Big Island, Hawaii in my mid twenties. He was around my age and was going back to Hawaii to “see about a girl” (one of my favorite lines from Good Will Hunting) whom he had quickly & briefly fallen for weeks prior and was heading back to the islands to take a chance on love and risk putting his heart “out there” to see what could happen. (I sometimes wonder what happened to him and them.)
His ability to step into the unknown, be vulnerable and pursue where his heart wanted to be inspired me then and still does today when I think about that plane ride. It also makes me think of this quote:
“Leap and the net will appear.” – John Burroughs
So there you have it friends; hard work, courage, persistence, motivation, self confidence, raw & true belief in yourself, grit, mental strength, thinking outside the box; these are traits that can be honed with desire, patience and practice.
I believe in you; do you believe in yourself? I hope you do.
If not, I will believe in you, until you have the want or courage or what have you to believe in yourself.
Thanks for reading. Until next time.
An Invitation For You
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*Blog Image by Photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.
3 Limiting Beliefs That Are Making You Unwell (How to Ditch Them)
We hear a lot about limiting beliefs; it can easily go in one ear and out the other. However taking the time to reflect on the limiting beliefs that might be holding you back is worth while introspection.
The focus in this post will be on 3 specific limiting beliefs that can affect how we show up, what (ultimately) happens and how we feel in the world.
ready? let’s go.
I don’t know about you, but I can dwell, overthink, engage in my own pity party, be a victim of my circumstances, ruminate about past decisions and have rose colored lenses about the past, which all leads to feelings of enormous regret and feeling awful.
When I’m in these murky internal spaces, it serves me to unpack where my head’s by checking in with my belief system. I, like anyone, has to watch what I do with the pains, struggles, trails and tribulations that life sometimes serves that not only I experience on a personal level, but happen and impact us all on a global level as well.
How about you? Do you relate to getting stuck in the ways I described above? If so, this post is for you.
It can feel impossible to change the way we perceive and experience our reality. Especially when our reality is filled with circumstances or people that are challenging or a negative mindset that we just can’t shake.
This is where I’m going to introduce the concept of mental strength. Mental strength points towards our level of resiliency. Our level of mental strength dictates how healthfully we can get through and overcome hardship.
The truth is that our mental strength is like physical strength; It can become stronger by “working it out” with focused intention and practice. A consistent mindfulness practice around the quality of our beliefs and thoughts can create positive change around unhealthy thinking patterns.
Let’s get into the 3 specific limiting beliefs that can be keeping you stuck.
3 Beliefs That Can Keep You Stuck
1. unhealthy beliefs about ourselves
examples:
“I’m not good enough.”
“Nobody ever picks me.”
“I’ll never be successful.”
“I’m not smart enough, young enough, old enough, good looking enough, healthy enough..…”
“I don’t have enough experience.”
“I’m not capable.”
2. unhealthy beliefs about others
examples:
“You can’t trust anyone.”
“Everyone is out for themselves.”
“Other people always let you down.”
“People are so manipulative and fake.”
3. unhealthy beliefs about the world
examples:
“The world is nothing but a dangerous & dark place.”
“It’s impossible to be successful in this world today.”
Can you see, if those were your core beliefs, how there’s no way that you could show up light hearted, fulfilled and happy? Those beliefs hold too much heavy, black & white, conclusive, bleak and hopeless energy to allow one to feel and experience joy.
The truth is that:
there are times were you will come across people who are not to be trusted. There will be experiences that show the unfairness that the world is capable of. There will be people that disappoint and hurt you.
That’s life. I don’t say that lightly; I say that, with heart & empathy, to reflect the reality that is our world at times.
It’s a hard truth, but it is truth.
There’s contrast in life. There’s so much beauty and there can be so much pain. Two truths that are opposites of one another existing.
What you have choice about is the perspective that you choose to take as life events play out and unfold. Your beliefs about the world will define your perspectives, your thoughts, your mood, your actions and, ultimately, how your life pans out.
As we might have heard already; our beliefs create our thoughts, which affect our actions, that ultimately create what our reality looks and feels like.
Spending time to identify if any negative beliefs are holding you back and working toward seeing yourself, others and the world with a neutral lens will help you to have a more balanced and healthy perspective about your present reality.
As you do discover negative beliefs that you hold, countering those negative beliefs with experiences that you have had (or can think up) that show a different story (a more positive reality) could be extremely helpful to help you reset.
Getting clear on what your beliefs are around yourself, others and about the world can help you identify if there’s anything to clean up and clear out of your mental space that’s holding you back from feeling generally lighter and more fulfilled.
*Spending time journaling and reflecting upon your limiting beliefs can be valuable for you. A helpful exercise is countering unhealthy beliefs with healthy ones.
*For this exercise: Take a sheet of paper, split it in half, on one side of the paper write your negative belief and on the opposing side counter that negative belief with a more factual, neutral and healthy way of thinking.
General Ways of Thinking that Keep us Stuck
Why is this happening to me? This thought encourages dwelling, rumination & self pity.
Why can’t I (fill in the blank) …….? This thought feeds comparison, not feeling good enough, decreases confidence and motivation to change and take positive action.
What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with the situation or circumstance? This thought focuses on the perceived problem and can lead to distorted thinking, while focusing your energy onto something unproductive.
Ways Toward Healthier Thinking Patterns & Beliefs (3 tips)
1. Practice Mindfulness
Tap into your your “wise mind” (your inner knowing, your logic based mind that see’s things and experiences with more clarity vs. your “emotion mind.” Your emotion mind responds and reacts based on feelings. Feelings aren’t necessarily truth; they’re just feelings. They are valid, but not always factual. Anytime we don’t allow ourselves to see a situation for what it truly is; is something to watch.
To untangle which is which and become more mindful ASK:
“Which mind is talking here, my wise mind or emotion mind?”
*wise mind & emotion mind are DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) Concepts. Look HERE if you’re curious to learn more about DBT.
2. Have Hope
It’s so important and healthy to hold out hope that life could get better. Without hope, what do we have? I have two points to clarify here:
what hope is not; fairy tale thinking, avoidance of reality.
what hope is; allowing the future to be neutral without our judgements, fears & distorted beliefs getting all over what has not been written.
3. Aim for a Physically & Mentally Well Lifestyle
A consistent focus and practice of good habits /body, mind, heart, soul / and ways of thinking in order to be/stay physically & mentally strong will help you greatly to achieve more balance and general wellness.
3 Closing Journal Prompts:
1. What bad mental habits are holding you back?
2. What unhealthy beliefs are keeping you from being mentally strong?
3. What is one small step to take toward positive change?
*Image taken in La Paz, Mexico by Photographer, Renata Amazonas.