Rumination vs. Anxiety (Symptoms, Explanations and Practices to Help)
It could seem as though rumination is just a fancy word for anxiety, yet in the world of mental health, they're closely related, but not the same thing.
This post goes over the differences between rumination and anxiety, so you can better understand what’s happening if you struggle with either of these mental health issues. I also will break down whole body health ways to eliminate these reactions so you can break free from the self imposed prison that these behaviors put us in.
Rumination is when your mind keeps going over the same thoughts on a mental loop that can feel impossible to have control over. The thoughts that we repeat are usually negative ones—like replaying a conversation or worrying about what you should have done.
Anxiety is excessive worry about the future or fear of what might happen. Anxiety can show up very physically via the body with symptoms like a racing heart, tension, or restlessness.
A quick tip to help you decipher between the two is, rumination is more reflective (past-focused), while anxiety is more anticipatory (future-focused). One can build upon another in the sense that people with anxiety tend to ruminate more, and rumination can increase anxious feelings.
2 types of ruminating
Reflective Rumination; evaluating. asking why; trying to figure it out
Brooding; comparison. comparing your situation with an expected, conventional or self imposed standard that you have not achieved.
why do i ruminate?
People start to ruminate for a mix of psychological, emotional, and sometimes biological reasons. In all reality rumination is an unconscious habit, not something people choose. In a nutshell, it’s an ineffective way that we try to manage distress.
#1 False Belief: Some think ruminating will lead to answers or “more control” over a specific situation, even though it rarely does. You think that if you think hard enough and figure out how to “fix it”; you then will find the answer and “solve the problem” leading to resolution.
This is actually where I witness many people grasp for control, manipulate situations to get their way and, ultimately, self destruct.
Here are some common reasons why we ruminate:
Unresolved trauma or conflict: The mind keeps looping, trying to "solve" or make sense of past pain.
Perfectionism: Believing that obsessively reviewing actions or decisions can help to avoid making mistakes.
Low self-esteem: When we don’t feel good about ourselves we carry around a lot of self doubt which can lead us to dwell on perceived inadequacies or failures.
Anxiety or depression: Both of these mental health conditions promote overthinking and worry.
Lack of coping skills: When healthier tools aren’t available, the brain defaults to rumination.
Unmet emotional needs: The mind may revisit painful situations as a way to seek resolution or understanding.
symptoms of rumination:
Persistent overthinking about past events or mistakes
Inability to let go of a specific worry or thought
Replaying conversations or scenarios in your head
Feeling stuck in negative thought cycles
Increased anxiety or sadness as a result of overthinking
Difficulty sleeping due to mental looping
Trouble focusing on the present moment or daily tasks
Seeking reassurance excessively, yet still feeling unsettled
Self-criticism or guilt that feels hard to shake
Physical tension, like headaches or muscle tightness from stress
I can’t tell you how many clients have come to me that have been deeply struggling with anxiety and or rumination all their lives without realizing that this way of being was negative; they just thought it was a normal way to feel and be. They didn’t realize that it was an unhealthy way that they’ve been trying to manage their stress and discomfort. With some education around what healthy vs. unhealthy coping looks like, they were able to acknowledge that the uncontrollable thinking and doom predicting was lowering the quality of their lives and creating a lot of internal suffering.
When we’ve “always” been a certain way we don’t know that anything could or should be different. Our homeostasis is what we consider to be “normal;” for worse or for better.
know thy enemy:
We can’t heal or course correct something that we don’t have awareness around. We can’t heal something that we actively choose to avoid or can’t see the truth of.
Simply said; you can’t fix something that you don’t think is broken. For that reason, here are some common and (sneaky) symptoms that can be due to your anxiety.
Let’s Talk Anxiety
why do i have anxiety?
People develop anxiety for a mix of reasons—biological, psychological, and environmental. Here are some key factors:
Genetics: Anxiety can run in families; some people are more biologically wired to be anxious.
Brain chemistry: Imbalances in neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and GABA can heighten anxiety.
Childhood experiences: Overly critical environments, trauma, or unpredictability early in life can wire the nervous system for hypervigilance.
Stress overload: Chronic stress (work, relationships, finances) can trigger or worsen anxiety.
Personality traits: Highly sensitive, perfectionistic, or people-pleasing types are more prone to develop anxiety over time.
Learned behavior: Growing up around anxious caregivers can internalize anxious coping patterns.
Lack of safety or control: Situations where people feel powerless or unsupported often spark anxiety.
Medical conditions: Thyroid issues, heart problems, or hormonal shifts can mimic or cause anxiety symptoms.
At its core, anxiety is the body’s alarm system stuck in “high alert” mode.
symptoms of anxiety:
trouble concentrating or making decisions
feeling irritable, tense or restless
experiencing nausea or abdominal distress
having heart palpitations
sweating, trembling or shaking
trouble sleeping
having a sense of impending danger, panic or doom
constant worry
“what if” thoughts
lack of concentration
ruminative thoughts
less obvious symptoms of anxiety:
indecision
stagnation in your life
lack of control of your life; life happens to you vs. you making clear choices about your life.
avoidance of situations or people that will trigger your anxiety
Action: the antidote to anxiety
what action does:
it helps you feel in control of what you can be in control of.
it helps you take an active role in your life where you’re engaging in creating your future instead of sitting in stagnation waiting for “it” to happen to you.
it helps you become more present.
whole body health ways toward healing
BODY
massage: helps shift your body out of "fight-or-flight" (sympathetic) mode and into "rest-and-digest" (parasympathetic) mode. This leads to: Lowered heart rate, slower breathing, decreased blood pressure and a sense of calm and safety.
cold exposure: known to reset the nervous system by “shocking” your system into presence, then settling it. Cold exposure can also helps you face and work through discomfort.
exercise: balances brain chemistry, reduces stress hormones, activates the parasympathetic nervous system, interrupts the anxiety thought loop (gets you put of your head), improves sleep, increases your levels of energy and confidence and helps you to emotionally regulate.
breath work: breath work activates the parasympathetic nervous system (rest-and-digest). Slow, deep breathing sends a biological signal to your body: “You are safe.”
*I really like practicing box breathing because it’s so simple. I start by closing my eyes and visualizing making a square in my mind with my breathe then:
Inhale – 4 seconds (Slowly breathe in through your nose, filling your lungs completely.)
Hold – 4 seconds (Pause at the top of your breath. Stay still and relaxed.)
Exhale – 4 seconds (Gently breathe out through your mouth or nose, emptying your lungs fully.)
Hold – 4 seconds (repeat for 2-3 minutes)
MIND
affect labeling: name what you feel by putting your emotions into words. “Name it to tame it.”- Dr. Dan Siegel
ex: "I'm feeling anxious, and that's okay.”
cognitive reframing: helps to challenge and shift negative thoughts.
ex: Ask: “Is this thought helpful or true?”
grounding techniques: helps to anchor your mind in the present, which disrupts anxious thought loops.
practice: 5-4-3-2-1 method: name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste
thought stopping: interrupts anxiety loops by, literally, stopping the thought.
ex: Say “Stop” (silently or aloud)
mindfulness & meditation: mindfulness trains your brain to observe thoughts without attaching to them.
practice: 5–10 minutes of focused awareness (on breath, sound, or body) can help reduce anxiety.
journaling: write down your worries, thoughts, or a list of what's going right. Mental Health Benefits of Journaling (A Practice To Help You Live More Mindfully)
An Invitation For You
If this resonates with you:
Want more reflections like this?
Subscribe to my IAMWELL Newsletter to receive grounded mental-health insights, somatic reflections, and friendly reminders to support a life rooted in slow living, wellbeing, and mind-body connection.
Curious about working together?
You’re welcome to book a brief, free consultation call — we can explore whether we feel aligned in working together. (Reach out HERE.)
Have thoughts or reflections?
Feel free to comment or share — I’d truly love to hear what this brought up for you.
Let’s stay connected. You can find me on Instagram at @IAMKIMEGEL
*Blog image by visual artist & photographer Amy Lynn Bjornson
Coping with Romantic Rejection: Tips to Help You Move Forward
I can sit here and say all the cliche things that we’re often told when it comes to facing rejection.
“They don’t deserve you.”
“It’s not meant to be.”
“You can do better.”
These could all be very well true. They could provide you with positive perspective to move forward in a healthy way.
However, sometimes, we might need more than just a quick one liner to start the healing process. Moving forward can especially be difficult when the rejection feels deep rooted and is clouding your ability to see yourself clearly & in a healthy light.
When it comes to romantic love; this type of rejection tends to be the most intense because it can feel so personal and seep into the parts of us that are very raw and unexposed.
This is so because being involved with another on a romantic level is one of the most vulnerable of all relationships.
Since rejection can feel so personal, that’s actually where the danger lies. Making and taking rejection personally is where the divide between our sense of self worth and what is external opinion and noise can become blurred, chipping away at our sense of self.
I’m going to say it one more time so you can really hear it:
Making ANYTHING too personal is what will slowly corrode our sense of self. As our sense of self becomes compromised; our joy will begin to lessen and our lives will become less fulfilling.
Gaining Perspective
The truth is that nothing is 100% personal to you, even though it can feel so. Especially the rejection that results from a romantic relationship ending or never getting the momentum to begin.
We’re all so multi faceted, coming forth with our own history that has shaped the way we perceive the world. What’s “right” for one could be “wrong” for another and vice versa. This is why having discernment and perspective when it comes to somebody’s opinion or response to you (an opinion of someone that might not even know you well) is important to learn to do. It’s an invaluable skill.
to say it straight:
Don’t confuse your self worth with somebody’s preference.
What I’m about to say is not going to be popular, but it’s truthful.
The reality is that not everyone is going to prefer what we have to offer. Our value is not going to be something that everyone can see (for reasons beyond us.) This is not a fault of yours. It just is. Work on not mentally digging too deep into this, for it’s a dangerous rabbit hole to spin out in.
The work is accepting this truth; the truth that we’re not going to be for everyone.
As we begin to digest and accept this truth; it will becomes a bit more bearable to sustain rejection when it, ultimately, makes it’s way into our life.
Acceptance is not easy; but it’s our way out of the mind maze of doubting and rejecting our own self.
Let me remind you that someone passing on you is not because there’s anything wrong with you. Not being a fit for another does not mean that you should change something about yourself to fit into their ideal. It just means that you’re a better fit for something or someone else.
Any such action to change yourself in order to win someone over would be a form of self abandonment.
The thing is, when we allow what’s not for us to go on it’s merry way, we then leave the space for the people and opportunities that are for us to appear. There’s an interesting way that the concept of flow can work in our lives when we’re able to allow, let go and move forward with less resistance.
As we view rejection as redirection it will prevent us from sitting too long in our self defeating feelings. Rejection hurts. It’s uncomfortable. I don’t want to take away from that truth. However the perspective and mindset that we lock into when something or someone walks away from us is what will dictate everything that follows.
Rejection Brings an Opportunity for Potential Change & Growth
I will also say this; sometimes rejection presents us with an opportunity for self reflection and growth. It’s an opportunity for us to reflect on any way of being that’s not serving us and our life. Rejection can point us toward our unhealthy ways and behaviors that we might want to adjust for ourselves.
This adjustment is not because “it” (our character, our actions, our way) didn’t work for them; it’s because our actions, attitude or behavior doesn’t work for us.
Nobody that’s for you is going to have a fundamental problem with who you are as a person; which is your authentic character. They could have issues with your behavior or actions, which you can decide you want to change for yourself, but they won’t reject your authentic truth & character.
Be brave and strong enough in this life to stay true to what’s authentic to you. If you don’t take this stand for yourself, nobody will take it for you. It will be more difficult for you to find others who can see you clearly if you don’t own and stand up for who you are.
When it comes down to it, the intensity in which we we feel rejection usually aligns with the lack of acceptance that we have for ourselves. As we learn to hone more self acceptance, our ability to move on with more ease from rejection will gain momentum.
When rejection visits please remember that it’s a result of you stepping outside your comfort zone and putting yourself “out there.” Rejection usually happens the most to those of us who are living a life that’s pushing limits; a person whom is striving for living big. This is something to be proud of yourself for; It’s brave. It takes courage to live outside the bounds of your comfort zone. Acknowledge yourself for that.
How to Work Through the Discomfort that Rejection Brings
Feeling emotions that are uncomfortable is a hard thing to do; so much so that avoiding such feelings are the basis of many mental health issues. Find my youtube video on how to process and work through your hard emotions HERE.
Final Tips
don’t take rejection personally
keep the focus on protecting your sense of self and self respect (always)
keep your focus on yourself by refraining from making assumptions and stories up about the other (why they left, what they might think, etc)
process and feel your hurt feelings while keeping your aim on moving forward
choose to see life as a journey filled with experiences that help you learn and grow; some of which are challenging and bring up hard feelings.
realize that everyone, regardless of how they look, what they’ve achieved or how much they are desired, get & feel rejection as well. We will all face rejection at one time or another in life; or multiple times; it really depends on how courageous we are to put ourselves “out there.”
An Invitation For You
If this resonates with you:
Want more reflections like this?
Subscribe to my IAMWELL Newsletter to receive grounded mental-health insights, somatic reflections, and friendly reminders to support a life rooted in slow living, wellbeing, and mind-body connection.
Curious about working together?
You’re welcome to book a brief, free consultation call — we can explore whether we feel aligned in working together. (Reach out HERE.)
Have thoughts or reflections?
Feel free to comment or share — I’d truly love to hear what this brought up for you.
*Above image is by Photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.