Liminal Space Explained: Why You Feel Lost (and How to Move Through It)
“Feeling lost” is often what happens when you’re in a liminal space — that in-between zone where you’re no longer who or where you were, but not yet who or where you’re becoming. It’s an empty stretch full of uncertainty and the unknown, which makes it deeply uncomfortable — and, not to mention, easy to want to avoid.
Walking through liminal space can feel like moving through a pitch-dark room. You can’t see what’s ahead, and you’re not quite sure where you are — often leaving you hesitant, and searching for something solid to land on.
Let’s talk about liminal space
In psychology, we call liminal space a threshold state: a pause, a transition, a space that can feel uncertain, uncomfortable and even disorienting.
It tends to show up during big shifts — ending a relationship, changing careers, outgrowing an identity, healing from a former version of yourself. It’s the space between the old story and the new one — it rarely comes with a roadmap and often comes with a feeling of lost.
Liminal space is deeply uncomfortable for many — so much so that people often make choices or take action not because it feels aligned, but simply to escape the discomfort. Anything to get out of the vast unknown and move on, even if it’s not quite right.
Why it matters for mental wellness:
Liminal spaces challenge our sense of control, certainty, and self
They can trigger anxiety or grief — but they also invite the good stuff; self-reflection, redefinition, and transformation
what it can feel like
Liminal space can feel like floating, with nothing solid beneath you to land on. Everything familiar has fallen away, and the new hasn’t arrived yet. This is often when panic sets in. If the present doesn’t look or feel like what you imagined it should — then what direction are you even supposed to go in?
The questions start to spin and overwhelm us: Where do I go? What do I do? What action should I take?
And yet... no clear answers come.
Within this space you might feel restless, anxious, ungrounded — lost.
This is a point where many of us stop choosing intentionally and, instead, choose from a place of scarcity and fear.
But here’s the truth: this space isn’t empty. It’s full of potential. It’s where deep growth takes root — if you allow it.
“what is familiar is not always right.” -Brianna Wiest
The real truth is that feeling lost every now and then is normal. It’s actually a key part of becoming.
Can liminal space last for years?
Yes, it’s possible—and deeply human—to have a long liminal phase. Sometimes these "in-between" spaces aren’t just bridges from one chapter to another. They are the chapter. A long one has the potential to provide many valuable lessons to be learned and experienced if you can see it that way. Lessons can be learned when you use the in-between space to pause, reflect and heal, (if need be) so you can move forward.
Is it “normal” to feel like I’ve been in “in between” for years?
Is it normal? Well, it’s not common. But yes, “normal” for those of us who are seekers.
“Seekers,” as in people who tend to have a heightened sense of:
Emotional intelligence
Creative sensitivity
Spirituality
Authenticity; meaning people who are unwilling to fake their way into “belonging”
It tends to be more common for people with these traits to spend time in liminal spaces-which doesn’t necessarily mean stagnation or that something is “wrong.”
It can be a sign of an inner truth — that you’re not willing to conform just to move forward.
In all reality, it takes real courage to walk the road less traveled, to listen to the inner callings of what feels right instead of checking off life’s boxes at the so-called “right time.”
Those who can tolerate the unknown — who are willing to sit in uncertainty and trust what they can’t yet see — will likely find themselves in liminal spaces more often than most.
how to move through it
The key is to stop forcing clarity and start practicing trust. Let go of the need to fix or fast-forward.
Instead: Feel. Listen. Wait. (your new mantra)
This space asks you to slow down, to stay present, and to let the lessons rise on their own timing. See my post on slow living here if you need some direction on how to embrace slow and more intentional in order to gain clarity.
Practicing an empowering narrative such as: I’m not broken and I might feel lost, but maybe I’m not as lost as I think. Maybe I’m just becoming. Maybe this is just the stuck before the new chapter.
It reminds me of the quote:
“You necessarily have to be lost before you’re found.” - T. Scott McLeod
This suggests the idea that the feeling of being lost is often the necessary precursor to self-discovery, transformation and to the world “on the other side.”
If you’re in that in-between right now, offer yourself grace. You don’t need all the answers today-who really ever has all the answers anyway?-nobody. For now, just stay close to yourself as you move through it — one breath and one moment at a time.
for those feeling lost
maybe you’re not just waiting—you’re pausing.
maybe you’re not just alone—you’re aware.
maybe you’re not aimless—you’re between identities.
Let’s review:
At the end of the day, remember, feeling lost is often a sign that you’re in between spaces — experiencing liminality, a psychological threshold where old structures no longer fit, and the new ones haven’t yet taken form.
Knowing why you’re feeling so aimless, so stuck, so lost can, ultimately, help you move through it with more ease + flow. Carry on my friends. One step at a time
An Invitation For You
If this resonates with you:
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Have thoughts or reflections?
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*Above image by visual artist, Amy Lynn Bjornson
How To Create and Maintain Your Boundaries
There are so many things that have the potential to sweep us away these days. Therefore this post is all about how to crete and maintain your boundaries (stay in your lane), so your energy is not scattered, which will leave you depleted.
Distractions come to us in so many ways. Some are disguised by appearing really pretty; the thousands of mesmerizing images our minds scan through on instagram that catch our eyes. Although beautiful and potentially inspiring, it’s a mass amount of output coming in that we have to filter and digest.
Everything coming at us requires our energy to weed through and sort out.
Other distractions might feel more heavy; a friends sharing of another’s dramatic relationship issues. Not to mention the over abundance of daily texts, DM’s, tweets, snapchats, voicemails and emails on top of work and all the other must do’s. It can feel really intense and overwhelming.
I’ve come to a point where I can start feeling myself shut down like a computer when I feel overloaded. Sometimes it’s just too much “stuff” in one day for me to hold and sift through. Instead of being hard on myself and feeling like “I should” be able to handle all the demands of my (this) world, I just let myself do what I need to do. This usually entails retreating to somewhere quiet so I can literally reboot. Maybe a walk, maybe a surf, maybe a hike, maybe a quiet evening in. Something that helps my system to unwind.
Discovering what your “reboot” is will be a huge benefit to your life.
So, how can you stay clear and focused amongst all the things and stuff going on?
Today is simple, because we can make it so complex. Stay in your lane in life.
Meaning: Stay focused on your mission. Stay clear on your aim. Stay true to your intentions and desires. Stay aware of what makes you feel good. Stay aware of what makes you fulfilled and what lights you up. Keep your energy protected by being selective about with who and what are good ways to spend your time. Learn and practice how to repel what others may attempt to dump on you by keeping healthy boundaries for yourself. Your lane (your personal space) needs to remain healthy and clear, so you can see where you’re going. You only have so much energy each day, use it wisely.
Start this year off with a bang by making choices that honor you. Pay attention to the things that have the potential to swerve you off your path. As you hold a clear boundary for yourself the negative will organically fall away as the positive things survive and accumulate. Trust this, as it’s the flow of life.
Cheers friends.
* Image taken by photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.
5 Tips (How to Make Better Life Choices)
Decisions, decisions. They can be so hard. I mean, which decision is "right?!"
What choice is best for me? What choice is going to be best for everyone involved? Is this choice bad? Is this choice "wrong?" Is this choice selfish? Seriously, it can be so confusing and overwhelming, especially when our decisions involve big change and impact other people.
The reality is that being human requires us to make decisions. Making no decision is a decision. I've been at points of my life where I've completely stalled because I didn't know what "the right thing to do" was. (I'm sure you can relate.) Taking time to think things through is one thing, although sitting in the grey for too long can create it's own set of issues. There's no escaping making decisions for our lives, so here are some thoughts on how to feel more confident about the decisions that are currently requesting your attention.
1. Consider the Opinion of a Legit Source
When you're on the fence about a choice, it can be beneficial to turn to a legit source who has knowing and opinions that you value. When you're contemplating a decision and someone that you respect has relevant experiences to share, keep your ears open. Want to be a doctor? Talk to a practicing physician that you enjoy who has concrete advice. Want to travel somewhere interesting? Seek out conversations with like minded adventurers who travel to destinations that excite you. Be mindful that these are outside opinions, however, when opinions come from a trusted and valued source, I considered that to be GOLD.
2. Tap Into Your Core Values
What you value acts as a compass toward making decisions that align with who you are and what you stand for. Think of each of your core values as guiding lights; lighting the path before you in the direction that's uniquely "right" for you. When you're clear about what's important to you, you'll make decisions with more ease.
Defining core values helps you get in tune with who you are and what you enjoy. Be aware that your preferences will change as you continue to grow and expand. What you once enjoyed can change over time. Sometimes it's just a habit that keeps us doing what we have always done, whether we still gain pleasure from it or not. With that said, it can be beneficial to check in with who and where you are in your life now in order to make more updated choices that honor the present you.
3. Sit on It
Some decisions require you to take a step back and get quiet in order to listen for what the right thing to do is. Allow yourself time to sit with your choices. Be mindful of external forces pushing you to make a decision before you're ready to make one. I understand that some decisions do have and need a timeline, but make sure you have some empty space so you can hear yourself without interference from the outside.
4. Feel it Out
Feel about the decisions that lay before you. That might sound weird, let me further explain.
How you feel about your life and the experiences, opportunities and people in it is huge. Sometimes you can't sum up how you feel in words, although how you feel about something never fails. The tricky part is matching how you feel with what you decide to do. It's like the feeling that surfaces when you're literally walking in the wrong direction, it just doesn't feel right. Get to know that feeling so you can identify it and act on it.
“At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”
How can you make good decisions if you're not aware of how you feel? By slowing down and checking in more frequently with yourself you can, overtime, become more in tune with how you feel about things vs. how you think about things. This will help you make better choices.
5. Take the Pressure Off
A quote that I always think about when I make major choices in my life is a John Burroughs quote, "Leap and the net will appear." Meaning, make a move and something will come in to support you and help direct you further. This really is how it works in life.
This quote helps me "dumb down" decision making. It takes my view on choices from a level 9 to a level 3 in scary factor. It helps me remember that the chances of me ruining my life in a single choice is a pretty extreme perspective that's going to keep me in fear and stagnant, which is scary in itself.
Take a breath, get grounded and make the best decision that you know to make in the moment that an answer is being requested. That's the best any of us can do.
Many decisions, especially major ones, come into existence because of the small choices that we're making along the way. For example, usually multiple different choices and events lead to the decision to either leave or stay in a established relationship. It's more rare to have one single event happen that changes everything.
Also, remember that most everything is temporary in life. We're going to make decisions that lead to something we don't necessarily want or like, that's part of living. However, perhaps we have to go down those mirky roads in order to get to an elevated place within ourselves and our lives. Trust this.
Hopefully, these tips spoke to you and can help you navigate your way with more confidence. Trust that when you make a move, something or someone other than you will swoop in to support you or help you get clear on which direction to go in. Although, you have to start down the path by making a choice, which will then set the flow of life in motion. Trust that the flow of life will help you navigate your way from there.
Now, get after it and make a move.....
* The above image was taken by photographer, Renata Amazonas.
A Reframe About Pursuing Success
There are individuals everywhere who have all the external components that we would imagine define "success," yet there's no happiness underneath it all.
The truth is that no external thing can make you a happy person long term.
You can feel the short term hit of dopamine and happiness by acquiring or getting what you’ve always wanted externally, yet it’s just a matter of time where the “high” acquiring will wear off.
This may lead us to question what the term success means for us personally. Once we can define that more clearly for ourselves, it's less likely for us to go down a mindless and empty path toward gadgets, relationships and stuff that lead to nowhere.
Personal success looks different for all of us. Be true and consistent to what it looks like for you.
Here's a quote intended to help you get more clear about your own unique relationship with the concept of success.
“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.”
I love this quote. It highlights an important path toward the kind of happiness and joy that benefits all within reach.
So often we can get caught in the trap of trying so hard to achieve to gain a certain result. For the record, I've become really weary of the word "trying" at this point in my life. "Trying" to make a certain something happen. "Trying" to attain the ideal relationship. "Trying" to make a certain amount of money. "Trying" to get to where the grass (in our heads) is greener. Too much trying can back fire and sends off an anxious and, at times, needy vibe.
Trying too hard, often, is the exact action that's keeping us from receiving what we desire.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all about goals and creating markers toward personal achievement, however there's an artful balance of knowing when to tug and when to loosen up. It's a skill to learn how to go after something with an attitude of openness and flexibility, but without need and desperation. Needless to say, the results of these two approaches are very different.
Practicing allowing and loosening your grip of the drivers seat of your life, sometimes is the specific ingredient needed to open up enough space for that thing you really want to sneak in.
Endless trying paired with no real satisfying results will lead us feeling empty and discouraged.
The irony is that when we let go and stop trying so hard we naturally begin to start living by enjoying what we do have. When we can find joy in what's already full in our lives, that's when things have an uncanny way of coming together and more good things are created.
Trust this. Follow what feels good. Follow what feels right in your heart vs. where your logical mind believes success lives. When you do this, the chances that you will experience the kind of happiness that's deep and sustaining is more likely.
* The above image was taken by photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.