Tips on How to Enjoy & "Do You" During the Holidays
Welcome to the holiday season friends. The energy is buzzing and there’s a lot of doing this time of year. A lot going on, even if it’s all in good fun, can pull us in different directions and zap our energy if we don’t take care of ourselves.
For some of us there’s also quirky family dynamics, pressure to spend on gifts, whether we have the funds or not, and an overwhelming or underwhelming amount of social engagements.
I believe that you can make this time of year less stressful if you know how to have boundaries and pay attention to what you need.
So, how can you enjoy this time of year rather than just creep by and get through it?
Here’s a phrase that really speaks to me and perhaps it can be helpful for you to remember right about now.
Just because you can; Doesn’t mean that you should.
You can DO and BE many things in this life, but it’s not that satisfying to live a life where you spend a lot of your energy doing things you feel you “should” and “ought” to do. It’s equally unenjoyable to spend your time and energy being someone who others want you to be, not who you want to be. I understand that there are certain situations in life where you take one for the team and do something that’s not your preference. That factor is apart of the journey and sometimes necessary. Although, for the majority of your choices, I wish for you to authentically consider what YOU want. (And for the record, NO that’s not selfish, its self honoring.)
This season offers some major practice if you struggle with people pleasing or your own guilty feelings around what you think you “should” do. I understand that it’s really difficult when what’s best for you upsets the people you care about. That’s a tough position to be in and it deserves to be acknowledged. However, anyone who cares about you in a healthy way will honor your self serving choices, whether they like them or not. Someone doesn’t have to agree with what you choose, however honoring you and your choices is a must for a healthy connection.
How often is it that you feel pressure to commit to an event or social activity because you feel you “should?” Your rationale might be that you “can” and have the time so you “should” go. Or you might find a way to validate why it’s “rude,” “inappropriate” or fill in the blank with the correct word that describes your inner, usually guilt influenced voice, that pushes you into situations that simply don’t fill you up. Evaluate your tendency to do what you think you should do or what others want you to do vs. listening to your truth. Be mindful of this tendency and work toward respecting yourself by making decisions that serve you and are respectful to your energy and priorities.
How you spend your energy is a huge deal. The trick is to learn the art of deciphering what’s the best use of your time given all the other priorities that you’re balancing.
To go a bit further, I wish for you to give yourself more time than you actually think you need so you have the space to enjoy what’s going on around you. Notice that when you’re bouncing from event to event, trying to fit it all in, you’re likely to show up with rushed energy. Slow down, be mindful of over scheduling. Rushing is exhausting. Period.
Tips to Support You During the Holidays
Be mindful of over scheduling. Even too much good stuff can be exhausting and over whelming. Plan accordingly.
Keep your guilt in check by deciphering if it’s guilt coming from you (internally) or if it’s external guilt, the guilt that others are putting on you. If you deem that it’s external, you might choose to have a respectful conversation with the other in order for you to communicate about your choices.
Create extra space and time to just be and to soak in all the things. Plan for more time than you think.
If this tends to be a time of year where loneliness and feelings of sadness intensify, try to express that to trusted friends who can hold that space for you. Sometimes just letting others know what’s going on with you is a way to feel less alone.
Volunteer and do for others. It always feels good and gets us out of our heads to give and do for others. Especially those others that are in need and don’t have the resources and means they we may have. It’s a win/win to give.
Keep up your healthy routines of exercising, eating foods that feel good in your body and getting enough sleep. The basics are so important. Balance out all the extra drinks and foods with the true blue things that you know work to keep your mind and body healthy.
I’m going to keep this message simple by encouraging you to honor what you want. Remember, you might have the time and means to do many things, although I want you to know that you have permission to forgo anything if it doesn’t serve you or feel right.
Just because you’re capable or have the means and time to do something doesn’t mean that you should. Avoid getting entangled in outside forces pulling you in various directions by honoring what you want this holiday season
Enjoy. Happy Holidays Friends.
*Image by Photographer Renata Amazonas and creator of Honeyandgarden.