An intimate relationship is a continuous work in progress. An important aspect of any romantic connection is that two people are choosing to grow in a positive direction with both themself and together. Below is a framework for you to check out in order to evaluate if your love connection is healthy, respectful and worth continuing to invest your sweet time into.
If you have one or two of these “signs” within your intimate relationship, great. If you have all of them, amazing. There’s no judgement and no such thing as a perfect anything, much less a perfect unity between two. If you’re not in a relationship, no worries, use this information to cultivate a vision for your future partnership.
7 Signs of A Legit Love Connection
1. Their Actions and Words Consistently Match Up
Your partner makes it clear via their words and actions that they're invested in you and see a future with you. You’re not confused about your partner's intentions because they make them crystal clear. Give or take being human; They call when they say they will and they show up when they say they will.
When someone is incongruent in their actions and words, we tend to feel doubtful about how they can show up for us. This leaves us in a state of not knowing, which is an easy breeding ground for our false assumptions, doubts and insecurities to live. Consistency is huge in relationships. It breeds trust and security. The bottom line is that we trust people who are consistent because it allows us to feel safe.
2. You Feel Good About Who You Are Around Them
It’s nothing that you can pin point, or maybe it is, but you just feel really good about yourself when you’re in your partner’s presence. They think you’re great, they support your ventures, they’re a huge fan of you, all imperfections included because we all have those, and that feels dam good.
3. They're Not Afraid to Have Real Conversations
Your partner is able to hold an inviting space for deep and vulnerable conversations. What does this mean? This means that you feel heard. It means that they can acknowledge your feelings without judgement and with appreciation of your self expression. There’s no avoidance of topics. There might be uncomfortable topics, although there’s no avoidance. If there is, they own it and do their best to work through it. Conversations are initiated around subject matter that allows further intimate connection, amongst fun conversations too. Balance is key. Topics can range from finances, insecurities, future life vision, your future together, etc. You feel better after releasing your feelings to your partner because they’re able to hold the space for you to release your emotions and that feels good.
4. You’re in Their Future Plans (Near and Far)
They make it known via their word and actions that you’re apart of their future plans. You guys make plans as a couple without question and you also have the freedom and space to still do you with their support.
5. They Respect The Relationships That Are Important to You
Your partner doesn’t necessarily need to be besties or even connect that much to some of the people you choose to have in your life, although they have to respect the significance that specific connections hold for you. Talking negatively about people that your partner knows you care about is a disrespectful act. There’s a difference between sharing your true feelings about a relationship with grace or concern vs. talking disrespectfully and putting down your judgement and desire for a specific relationship.
Ideally, it’s a great situation when you really gel and value the people that your partner brings into your life. This is not always the case, nor does it need to be, but it creates ease and flow when this is so.
6. You Trust Them & Feel Safe
This might be one of the most important aspects of any relationship. Trust and safety are foundational pieces that are the building blocks of any healthy connection. This is why when trust is compromised, it’s really difficult to recover. Trust is defined as the “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.” Feeling that your partner is reliable, accountable and will always do their best to show up for you is a must in a solid and loving connection.
You either trust someone fully or you don’t. You either feel safe with someone or you don’t. Meaning, you feel safe to express emotions, show all sides of you, appealing and not so appealing. We’re able to be vulnerable without feeling like our partner is going to see something that they don’t like and go away. Trusting someone allows us to unveil ourselves fully. This sets the stage for a true love connection.
7. It’s Clear That You’re a Priority
The majority of the things that your partner does generates an inner knowing that you’re held in a very high regard. This inner knowing brings a sense of peace and calmness about the relationship because you know where you stand. You feel genuinely loved and valued by your partner. You feel respected, considered and acknowledged. You are and you feel that you are a top priority in your partners life.
Relationships are so complex. Each couple has their own way. If it works and is healthy, more power to you. With all the above said, I understand that everyone is operating based on where they're at both mentally and emotionally. If your partner is working on themself and doing their best, that’s awesome and should be acknowledged. We’re not all graced with the gift of gab or the ability to talk it out super affectively. That’s okay. As long as your partner is working on their side of the street to keep things moving in a healthy direction, that’s effort to be appreciated.
*Above Image is by Amy Lynn Bjornson, San Diego based Lifestyle & Wedding Photographer7